In a World…

from the where-no-man-has-gone-before dept.

I found this in my old archive of my Blog. This archive was before I moved web hosting providers and such and I have it, somehow, in a PDF and DOC formats.  How the fuck did I back up my entire WordPress blog of nothing but the content into a document when I know I didn’t do it by hand? I don’t know, however, this is not what I am talking about today. Take the leap to read more…

This is a series of possible Epic Movie Guy quotes from very fictitious movies that me and my Pilot created. I thought they were fucking hilarious. The were created while I was at Anheuser-Busch in our off time.  Read below for the quotes…

If I recall correctly, this is in regards to World of Warcraft:

In a world where only the strong survive, humanity is on its knees. Ladder matches and PVP tournaments reigh supreme and the only way to win…is to kill.  Tommy Lee Jones, Mel Gibson, and Lou Diamond Phillips in his final performance ever…In a John Woo Film, “Alterac Valley: The Movie”.

This one, I tried my hand at but ultimately decided that I was full of fail:

In a world where there was no chicken. A team of three individuals decided to become gods and make a chicken for their beer. Vin Diesel, Tom Selleck, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson star in a Steven Speilberg film, “Chicken and Beer”

Needless to say, I needed some work done on mine, so my Pilot rewrote it and, well, did a hell of a job better than myself:

A world of imagination and wonder, a land with only beer, a farm without chicken. Two children hold the key to the future. Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, and Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots, together in a film by Tim Burton, this summer’s blockbuster smash…”Mechanical Chicken and the Spell of the Beer Witch.”

This one was also done by my Pilot and it involves to worlds with a “Star” in it:

Ten years ago…The Saga…was reborn…Balance returned to the Force but with it, a new evil arises. This time…it will be a Solo that is the last hope. Harrison Ford, Carrie Fischer, Carrot Top, and Godzilla, in a film by Ang Lee…”Star Wars The Next Generation.”

This was the final one of the day and it really doesn’t have a plot to it, just a bunch of words that happen to mean something:

The apocolypse, dreaded event of the end time, feared by men since thier first steps… Now if has come to pass, small bands of humanity cling to life with everything they have and the odds against them. the new master race, the Chi-ken dominate the globe, exterminating the last remnants of man. Its the end of humanity or the down of a new hero… Ben Affleck and Matt Damon in a Jonthan Frakes Film : “Chiken Plucker: Apocolypse Deep Fried.”

That is all I have to say tonight.  Stay tuned for other stupid shit!