You ready for it? You sure? Nah, I don’t think you are.

This series of And Yet It Moves are broken up into 4 Parts. Yes, I played that long and kinda forgot. What happened was that I got lost in the game. The game played so well that I forgot time. It has been a while since a game did that to me. To make me lose myself in an hour in a game and me not realizing it is truly great.

Without further ado, here is the first part out of 4 here. Continue to look here for the additional parts over the next few days as uploading is gonna be a bitch. Total amount donated will not happen until the 4th video is up. This post will be edited to reflect how much was said and donated.

Part 1 of 4

Part 2 of 4

So far, doing these two Let’s Plays have been quite fun and relaxing. The only thing I want to do is get this game out there more, And Yet It Moves, and do other games as well. I want to find obscure games, give commentary and then, I may do Minecraft but I don’t know what I would do in that one. Take the leap after the break to see what else I could do…

I could pull a kurtjmac and mimic one of his series of Minecraft or do something completely different, something so odd that nobody has thought of it yet. Tho, I have no idea what hasn’t been done.

I could gather friends together to play on a Minecraft server, one that I have or one bought/rented and make a series out of that. Tho, I have no idea of what friends play Minecraft or would be interested to do something like that.

There is so much that I could do with many games that I don’t know where to start. I guess you could say I am jealous of these internet stars that I want a piece of the action but don’t know how to go about doing it. I know it sounds petty and it is. However, I want to do things for charity too. Get that “stardom” and put that to charity while getting my own donations on the side. Tis what I am trying to do with the Let’s Play series of And Yet It Moves.

And Yet It Moves Let’s Play Series is great to do. I have gotten to talk to the developer of the game itself and she is a blast to talk to on Twitter. I want to get this game out there but alas, I ain’t big enough to do, hence why I came up with a gimmick to do such a thing.

You can find this on the Let’s Play page and that will be revamped later which is why I ain’t linking in my post today. Essentially, I want to play a game in which would invoke swearing or cursing and for each swear or cuss word, I will donate $1 to Child’s Play Charity. I will also accept personal donations into which for however many cuss words or swears I do in a particular episode, I will donate $0.50.  For instance, take the 1st Episode I have done. I cussed in that 6 times. That means, I donate $6 to Child’s Play. If you donated say $10 to me personally, that means that I donate $3 from my own personal donation ALSO to Child’s Play. Total amount donated is $9 and I get to keep $7. How did I get that amount? I will break it down as close to mathematically as possible:

6 Cuss Words x $1 For Each One out of My Own Banking Account = $6 to Child’s Play
6 Cuss Words x $0.50 For Each One out of Personal Donation = $3 to Child’s Play
$6 + $3 = $9 to Child’s Play TOTAL
$10 Your Donation – $3 to Child’s Play = $7 for me to keep

More Advanced….
6 x .5 also equals 6 x 1/2 or 6/2 or 6 ÷ 2…All equal 3. Just insert the necessary symbols and you are set.

I may have insulted your intelligence and I apologize. This is for people that don’t understand what I am doing. Hopefully, this will help get people to not only to donate to Child’s Play, but to also help me out a little as well. An incentive, I guess, to help me cuss or swear more. Petty? Who me?…Just a little and I apologize.

However all of that above states, I am glad I have the financial ability to donate to Child’s Play because I believe in what they do and it is for a great cause. It’s all for the Kids, the Chillins, the Children. Be sure that you donate to them first through either my Chipin Widget I have on my site first or donate to them directly before you even think about encouraging me. Please. Do that first.

Legalities Thereof
(Oh lord…my copywriting rules are kicking in…)
I don’t know exactly how this Let’s Play thing works to tell you all the truth. I do know that Let’s Play can simply mean to create a video and comment on it with whatever you want by playing the game doing whatever you want to with it. It could also mean to create a walkthrough of a game to show users how to play the game or even show them where all the secrets are in it. All I know is that I want to do this because I think it is fun!

I do know one thing and I don’t know if it is true for every LP’er out there is get permission from the Developers or Owners of the game to do this. I know there are videos out there of people making videos of games and such but I don’t know if they had permission to do it. I want to be on the safe side and get permission. Take for instance And Yet It Moves. I had sent an e-mail to their contact and it was the Developer who answered me back. I asked if I could do this and gave the direction I wanted to go. In fact, take a look below at what I sent:

I was just wondering what your stance was on having a Let’s Play series done to your game? If you are unsure on what Let’s Play is, take a look at the link below for more information: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/subcultures/lets-play

I bought your game through the Humble Bundle and let me say this, playing for just a little bit on this game is frustrating and fun all at the same time. Frustrating for me because I get confused, not anything to do with your coding and what not. Me getting frustrated at that simple fact makes this game challenging and very fun to play.  I was wondering if I have permission to do a Let’s Play series on it? I know there are people out on YouTube that have done this and such and I thought I better ask. I guess some people take it that since they bought the game, they can do what they want but I don’t to infringe on any copyright or anything of that sort.

I guess in the end, I am asking that I have the ability to record your game, put in my own commentary either about me and my own opinions and to do commentary about the game, maybe spotting a bug here and there, and to upload said video recording to YouTube or a variant thereof?

Thank you again for making such a great game to play and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

I wanted to double check myself in doing this. I figured I had said the right thing and worded it in such a way that it didn’t leave any second guesses on what I wanted to do. The only thing I could have done would be to give an example on a Let’s Play. Little did I expect such a great answer from Developer…:

We love it when people use our game for creative purposes. Or, just playing. So, we’re absolutely excited about your idea of using AYIM for a Let’s play series. We’re very flattered that you’re asking but you could’ve used it without asking.

We’re totally curious about your Let’s Play sessions, so we’d be super happy if you’d send us the links, so that we can take a look at them and link them to our FB page (and YouTube channel) – if that’s ok with you.

On a side-note – SOPA would get in the way of extremely cool work and videos. So we’re happy you’re doing it and that you’re having the chance and possibility to.

I guess I got the wish I had wanted and with that, I have, at this time, 2 videos out and am loving every second of it. I cannot wait to make more videos of Let’s Play but I am going to get things in writing (i.e. e-mail confirmation) if I can do this. Going to be safe rather than sorry.

The Near Future
(Here I go again…)
Right now, I am going to continue to do And Yet It Moves and once I get through the story, I am going to see about completing some of the challenges and other things with the game. Depending on if I get that done first or somewhere in between, I am going to do SuperTux, the Open Source Free clone of a game called Super Mario Bros. by Nintendo. I have gotten permission to do that game as well.

The plan with SuperTux is to play the game in its original format and then see what kinds of maps or map packs there are and play them through their entirety. And of course, comment, cuss, swear, all the way through that game.

Maybe along the way, maybe, I will start up Minecraft and see about that game and figure out something to do with that. I have some good ideas, just don’t know how I want to execute them.

This is all I got so far and right now, I am happy with what I am doing. I guess you could call me a LP’er. I am doing Let’s Plays. I know I can’t wait for another And Yet It Moves episode. I can’t wait to see what is next.

2nd Let’s Play is in the bag! Check it out here - http://youtu.be/ctoPs9tsMnE or below…

$20 Donated so far.
$16 in this Let’s Play alone!

Visit the Let’s Play Page above to see current donations and if you want to donate to the cause, then fucking do it!

Got my first Let’s Play in the bag. Check it out here - http://youtu.be/q7aQvo_M1_o or below…

$6 Donated so far! Can’t wait to see the next level or so. More swearing, playing, and donating will occur.

Visit the Let’s Play Page above to see current donations and if you want to donate to the cause, then fucking do it!

I do know one thing, I ain’t as elegant speaking as KurtJMac nor do I think I ever will be, but I know I had a blast in recording, editing, playing, and donating for a good fucking cause!

Ok, I have a Project, personal one, that I am wanting to do, but I need your advice. I need to know what games that I could play that I can record and play well and that it may invoke swearing. The title of this blog post says it all. I have one that I am currently trying to work on but I feel it may be short. Below are my specs for my machine. Help me find a game that I could play within these specs. Comments are open so feel free to respond there or to my Twitter @XaviorPenguin .

Specs:

> Mainboard : Dell 0J799R
> Chipset : Intel GS45
> Processor : Intel Mobile Core 2 Duo T9400 @ 2533MHz
> Physical Memory : 4096MB (2 x 2048 DDR3-SDRAM )
> Video Card : Mobile Intel(R) 4 Series Express Chipset Family
> Hard Disk : Seagate ST9160412ASG ATA Device (160GB)
> DVD-Rom Drive : Slimtype eTAU208 1
> Network Card : Intel 82567LM Gigabit Network Connection
> Network Card : Broadcom BCM4322 802.11a/b/g/n Wireless LAN Controller
> Operating System : Windows 7 Enterprise Professional Media Center 6.01.7601 Service Pack 1 (32-bit)
> DirectX : Version 11.00

(Taken using PC-Wizard)

I know I have taken a stand on SOPA/PIPA and I fucking hate it. As of January 18th, 2012, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. at least, I will not be posting to Facebook, Twitter, Google + and this site will be down. I know I don’t have many followers and I don’t mind that, however, I do mind that the Government is trying to turn this country into a communist regime in regulating the Internet and preventing free speech.

Users who see my blog will see something completely different, so stay tuned to that.

Thank you for your understanding.

LINKS:
SOPA Strike – http://sopastrike.com 
SOPA/PIPA Breaks the Internet – http://fightforthefuture.org/pipa/
How SOPA/PIPA Works, an Infographic – http://americancensorship.org/infographic.html
Stop American Censorship – http://americancensorship.org/
Fight For The Future – http://fightforthefuture.org/

The image you are about to see is true, names have not been changed to make them rock harder. (What the fuck am I saying?)

This post is in response to a tweet I put up.

I had decided, mind you, in my own free time, in my own accord, for fun, to make a fake movie trailer for the Metal StudZ. This would have detailed some things regarding Drake Darrington leaving and a new Frontman to appear. I had this idea that I wanted to do and asked certain individuals if I could do certain things and was turned down. Granted, this was all done in a professional manner and completely understand the reasoning why. I have no hard feelings toward what was said at all. READ THIS AND UNDERSTAND! If you do not understand what was just said, then you have my permission to jump off into a cliff and have yourself splattered against a North Face. Face it, North Face sucks and South Butt rules!

The image posted below is from that fake trailer. Below the image was my train of thought that I would have used to create that trailer. I figure since I am not doing this and I need to focus on recreating, reimaging, remake, the current Metal StudZ website for a bigger, longer, thicker website, “So stick around” kind of thing, that I would release what I had. Again, this was all going to be in fun, on my own time, on my own accord, just to see what I myself could accomplish. Once it would have been completed, I would have run this video across the proper channels and see what kind of attention it received. If they didn’t want it, it wouldn’t have been published anywhere and the project scrapped.

So, without further ado:

And here are my notes, revised to not show real names:

Create Green Screen from file…make it editable…with font and include fonts

Insert into movie, make it last 5 seconds with 1 second of black

Total movie does not need to excess 3 minutes

(have metal studz type music playing in the background without verbals)

(if not, use regular music from a video)

Find video of Drake dancing about

Insert audio of various people or a couple saying or Xavior Penguin saying:

“I can’t believe Drake Darrington is gone.”

“Why did he leave?”

“Who will replace him?”

“Where oh where did my bulge go?”

“Krom, why have you forsaken us?”

(in either my Pilot’s or Xavior Penguin’s Epic Movie Guy Voice)

For Years, Krom, the God of Rock and Roll, smiled upon the Metal StudZ.

(possibly find a clip of Monty Python Quest for the Holy Grail of “god”)
But now,  Drake Darrington has given up The Bulge and is sitting at the right

(attempt to fade in a small image overlaying Drake on top of “god”)
hand of Krom. The future of the  Metal StudZ seems clouded.
Fasting for days, the Metal StudZ Call out to their God, in hopes that
he will guide them to a new, shining future.

(in Thorn the Barbarian, show Thorn walking about as in “fasting”

Krom has answered the call of his favorite disciples.

(Show Video of StudZ minus Drake)
Coming to a Temple of Rock near you, the Metal StudZ will unleash their 
new Frontman and change the world.

Black screen

Coming in

(Big dramatic sound, like anvil hitting)

January 28, 2012

(same)

Metal StudZ will unleash…

(same)

their new Frontman

(start heavy metal guitar riff)

Show Metal StudZ logo with various members and have a blanked out silhouette of a guy with a question mark in the middle, dotted line around him

End with credits similar to end of a trailer

Give credit to people that helped out and what was used software and audio and video wise

That is what would have been done.

The software that has been used was:

Open Shot Video Editor – http://www.openshotvideo.com
The Gimp (similar to Adobe Photoshop) – http://www.gimp.org
Green Band Trailer PSD File - http://briancjanes.com/blog/video/movie-trailer-green-screen-intro
Green Band Trailer XCF (Gimp) File (With Editable Text instead of using Images like Brian C. James’) – http://www.disturbed-penguin.net/downloads/TrailerBand.xcf

Thank you for the possibilities!

Many things are going on in my life. Anywhere from a new position at my work at NS/W to editing websites. Most of the updates have really been on Twitter/FB/G+ but I figure, “What the hey!” I am feeling like I need to type, not only for the sake of typing, but to also get my WordPress Rank away from the 90,000 range. Take the Leap to see more…

So far, everything seems to be going quite well. Job wise, I am still working at NS/W and am enjoying it to the max. I was doing Technical Support Level II, but then I had to start selling services, which, if people know me, I ain’t much of a seller. I am more of a Technician than anything. I had told my Boss that I ain’t good at it and if there was something else he could assist me with in acquiring withing NS/W, then I would totally rock at it.  A month later, he has me up for a Copywriting position. I fill out a test, submit it back to him and within two days (over the weekend), I was told that I got the position and will be in training for a month.  As of right now, I am doing Copywriting for NS/W and it rocks. Doing anywhere from 3 to 4 Copy’s a day, editing them, creating content and so forth…this is awesome.  From my understanding, I will be out of training by the end of December and hope to have an offer letter at the first of the year. Don’t know if I will yet, but here is hoping.

Even before this action, I have had to do something I did not quite enjoy. A first in my life. To y’all, it may be petty and stupid, which in part is, but, I needed to defend My Woman’s life and honor as I am a chivalrous kind of man. This “friend” had overstepped her boundaries by quite a bit. There is too much to type so let me let you in on a secret of sorts that comes from my Messages within Facebook. This message has been edited to avoid names and only use nicknames that I have deemed fit for my friends: (Mind you, “Friend” is the offending person, the one who did the bad deed)
P.S. – Also, this information was sent to all of our mutual friends on Facebook to let them know what happened. Just as an FYI in case she made up any stories, like she did at Waffle House in which you will read later on.

Here is a story, sad but true…sounds like the beginning of a song…however, it is not regarding what has happened tonight. Some of you will care, others not. Drama ensues but I figured that you know it from me first rather than anything else. This is in regards to “Friend.” “Friend” got hysterical over a stupid “promise” she stated to somebody. She thinks she knows this individual better than we know him but that isn’t the case. She became hysterical, crying uncontrollably (namely because she has had way to many drinks), and became stubborn. My Woman and I tried to calm her down but that wouldn’t work, until My Woman told her what everybody has thought of before, “Shut the FUCK up and listen!” At that point, “Friend” had smacked My Woman. I promptly turned around in the car, as we were parked waiting for a friend, and I came around with my left hand and proceeded to choke her. I made threats toward her and My Woman told her to get out of the car. (It was the only thing I could think of at the time to push her back to prevent anymore harm to My Woman). “Friend”  got out of the car and walked away. I made sure My Woman was ok and for me, I was worried for “Friend” when I shouldn’t have been regarding her safety when I was thinking that I didn’t care on what happened. In that note, I am at fault. She did get to Waffle House near House of Rock and at that point, her parents were on her way to pick her up and her car that she had at her house. At Waffle House, she had made herself out to be the “victim” stating that I had choked her. Yes…yes I did, but in defense and honor of MY FIANCE, to push her back from doing any sort of additional harm. You know what they say, if they smack you once, they will do it again.

I have told all of this to her parents, almost verbatim, the entirety of the above info. I wanted to let you all know that “Friend” will not be around me and My Woman any longer due to this fact and figured you might want to know what happened. If she does come around and we are in the same building, expect some hostility and some unfriendliness toward her. I don’t do this at all but I have washed my hands of her. I have tried to be a friend and to have this happen tonight was the absolute last straw. It is up to My Woman whether or not I talk to her ever again. You may see some vague posts about certain things relating to this. If you do, now you know.

One of my friends had asked if we kissed and made up, to which I replied:

I hope you are kidding DF, cause I ain’t. I am just letting people know what happened and it is up to them to believe me or not at all. I am serious about this subject and hate the fact that I lost a friend, if you want to call her that. I had given her all kinds of assistance and received nothing back. Ok, ok, maybe a kiss on the cheek, however, THAT was not compensation at all under any circumstance. Advice, money, affection, attention…all of those things were given and not an ounce of anything back from her. I am done. Solid…done. No kissing and making up on this end as we weren’t the ones who fucked up, it was her.

The straw that really broke this camel’s back was when I went to Waffle House and she stated to everybody that I, I was the one who instigated this bullshit by going after her first. That is bullshit and everybody here knows that. I was told by a drunk man named Levi who picked her up from the side of the road, brought her to Waffle House, and at that time, her parents were called by her. He came out right before we were about to leave and stated this to us. That is the sole reason I sent this message out, was to prevent damage to me and My Woman and get the story straight from the beginning. If she did that at Waffle House, I wonder who all she has done that to…told the story in her version stating I started it. You want to hear it in my own voice, fucking call. I don’t bullshit and you know it. I may bullshit with you about petty, silly, stupid things because that is fun to do and because we both know it is bullshit, but when it comes to the point of causing harm to MY FIANCE, don’t fuck with me.

I will say this, to the whole “hand around the throat” thing…the physical position I was in, I could not have gone up and pressed her to the seat of the car to prevent any more harm or potential harm to My Woman. I only really had my left arm free and so I went for a handle, a firm area to prevent movement, the throat. I did apply pressure, but only to let her know that I meant business. The look in her eyes after she smacked My Woman was that of fear and violence/hatred, constantly staring at My Woman and even after I grabbed her by the throat and pushed back, she stayed fixated on My Woman, never wavering her gaze off from her. To me, that meant she wanted to either do more harm or she just realized the ramifications of her fuck up.

I am done explaining myself. You want to hear it in my own voice where I don’t have to abuse my keyboard by typing this shit out…call me or see me sometime.

I am done! FUCK!

That is that story in a nut shell. As of this writing, “Friend” deleted her account on Facebook, created a new one with a false name, had her friends re-added but none mutual, and has started anew. She also has received a new cell phone number out of this whole ordeal. I have talked to her on occasion in which she is making My Woman out to be the bad guy and stating that I ain’t talking to her because My Woman says that I can’t. That is bullshit as I don’t respond to her out of what she did of my own will and all that jazz. Other than some text messages with her new number and that is it, plus one last message on FB basically stating that she is the victim in all of this, in some sort of fashion, trying to bring pity to herself. Not only that, I was at an event and she was there. It took all I could to get my Pilot and My Woman to hold down Wigs (tentative name to a friend, will change soon) from beating her down for what she did. During the last part of the show, I was looking for a friend and “Friend” saw me. She started waving at me but I ignored her. I didn’t and still don’t want to have anything to do with her. The next day she had asked if I wasn’t allowed to talk to her because My Woman said so. I retorted with that I have my own free will and can do whatever the fuck I want. Other things were said and she yet again tried to make herself the victim by saying she was going to kill herself, yadda yadda, yadda, drama llama. At that point, I was fed up and I had told her parents that on numerous attempts, even before this, that she has stated she was going to kill herself and such. Her parents were glad and that is the last I have talked to them or even her.

One thing came to mind and I mentioned this to several people…she never really did try to win herself back with us. 2 messages were sent within a week of this occurrence and that was it. It wasn’t until after her deleting of profiles and number and name changes that she tried but again, made herself out to be the victim and My Woman the bad guy. Fuck it, I am done, I can’t talk any more about this and have gone over my own threshold on getting angry as I type…my poor keyboard.

On a lighter note, I, yes, Xavior Penguin is in fact the Metal StudZ’s Webmaster. I am moving, with the help of Thorn Gabriel, Drummer/Percussionist, the website over to a new host and the new site will be live the day after the first show in January of 2012. New things are planned for the site, such as:

• Compatibility with all browsers, Desktop and Mobile
• Ability to view videos without switching browsers or other codecs
• New Theme/Layout

There are other things but I can’t let that cat out of the bag just yet. Lets just say that this will be coming to a Helen Fitzgerald’s near you in January. You can either stay tuned here or whatever, I don’t care.

Other than that, not much else has happened and I will be writing a bit more come the new year. I need to not only do this for my sanity, but to see if I could ever be as popular and interesting as @not_erica. I am a little jealous. Ok, quite a bit jealous.

I found this in my old archive of my Blog. This archive was before I moved web hosting providers and such and I have it, somehow, in a PDF and DOC formats.  How the fuck did I back up my entire WordPress blog of nothing but the content into a document when I know I didn’t do it by hand? I don’t know, however, this is not what I am talking about today. Take the leap to read more…

This is a series of possible Epic Movie Guy quotes from very fictitious movies that me and my Pilot created. I thought they were fucking hilarious. The were created while I was at Anheuser-Busch in our off time.  Read below for the quotes…

If I recall correctly, this is in regards to World of Warcraft:

In a world where only the strong survive, humanity is on its knees. Ladder matches and PVP tournaments reigh supreme and the only way to win…is to kill.  Tommy Lee Jones, Mel Gibson, and Lou Diamond Phillips in his final performance ever…In a John Woo Film, “Alterac Valley: The Movie”.

This one, I tried my hand at but ultimately decided that I was full of fail:

In a world where there was no chicken. A team of three individuals decided to become gods and make a chicken for their beer. Vin Diesel, Tom Selleck, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson star in a Steven Speilberg film, “Chicken and Beer”

Needless to say, I needed some work done on mine, so my Pilot rewrote it and, well, did a hell of a job better than myself:

A world of imagination and wonder, a land with only beer, a farm without chicken. Two children hold the key to the future. Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, and Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots, together in a film by Tim Burton, this summer’s blockbuster smash…”Mechanical Chicken and the Spell of the Beer Witch.”

This one was also done by my Pilot and it involves to worlds with a “Star” in it:

Ten years ago…The Saga…was reborn…Balance returned to the Force but with it, a new evil arises. This time…it will be a Solo that is the last hope. Harrison Ford, Carrie Fischer, Carrot Top, and Godzilla, in a film by Ang Lee…”Star Wars The Next Generation.”

This was the final one of the day and it really doesn’t have a plot to it, just a bunch of words that happen to mean something:

The apocolypse, dreaded event of the end time, feared by men since thier first steps… Now if has come to pass, small bands of humanity cling to life with everything they have and the odds against them. the new master race, the Chi-ken dominate the globe, exterminating the last remnants of man. Its the end of humanity or the down of a new hero… Ben Affleck and Matt Damon in a Jonthan Frakes Film : “Chiken Plucker: Apocolypse Deep Fried.”

That is all I have to say tonight.  Stay tuned for other stupid shit!

Thanks to one lucky soul, and hopefully others, somebody braved the elements and posted.  Somebody must have posted this on other friends walls on FB or Twitter.  Regardless of the case, lets see what this person had to say.  My response after you take the leap…

From TAKEAWILDGUESS:

I would love to be a fly on a wall of a man’s brain for a day.  Love them, but mysterious they are!  Logic tells me at my age the guy/girl thing should be easier, but truth be told, it isn’t.  I still get shy and don’t know what to do.  I am much more confidant and comfortable with myself than I was a couple decades ago, but I can’t say any more skilled at flirting.  So how does a shy girl “send out a line” as I have been advised to do, and help a guy out to know she’s interested, but yet still remain in the position of being the one pursued?

Ok, first off, only some men are deep.  I for one am, once you get to know me.

Secondly, regardless of age, you do need to throw your line out there.  You aren’t going to catch any fish if you don’t throw a line out.  It has been seen that you can throw a line out with no bait on it (not trying) and still catch a fish and sometimes that fish is tasty but that don’t happen often.  One you apply some bait on the line, all you gotta do is wait.

If you are confident and comfortable with yourself, as opposed to a few years ago, then it shouldn’t matter what happens.  No matter the outcome, you are stepping out into that river to catch that fish and reel him in.  If you do put a little bit of bait on it and you get a nibble and come to find out that the particular fish you caught isn’t worth keeping, let it go and try again.  It may take a few tries but once you have him hooked, he will definitely be a keeper. There is many more fish out there worth frying up and putting it on your mantelpiece.

Ok, enough with the fish analogies, time to get real…(even tho that is a good way of looking at things, lets see what you can do to help out your situation.)

It is ok to be shy.  Sometimes, being shy is basically your bait.  For me, that was what it was when I met My Woman, XPz.Girl. Something about that shyness made me want to talk to her, get her to open up and at least speak to me.  Took a while but it worked out eventually.  For you, that may just work out.  Being shy does not necessarily equate to not speaking.  And before I go any further…be yourself, just out right be your own fucking self. (Hey, I never said I wouldn’t cuss or swear in these did I? Nope. So more to come. ) If you are not yourself in any way, no matter what you have done to woo over this man will stop him from outright leaving you.  Men like to bullshit themselves and think it is ok for them to do it when they woo over  a girl, but heaven forbid it isn’t cool if a girl does that to them.  We are kinda two-faced in that aspect.  Some men are, some are not.

No one person is going to be skilled at flirting.  Flirting is almost like a second language, you need to practice until you get it right.  You will find your own methods of getting said fellow.  If I were you, and you find somebody you are interested in speaking to, go over and speak to them. Shoot the shit, chew the cud, whatever phrase you want to use, just talk.  Even if it is small time bullshit. As bad as I hate to say it, guys like a little bullshit, simple stuff, as we are, in fact, simple people. If you have to ask what our favorite movie is and we go on a long spiel that it is Reservoir Dogs and Dogma and the fact that it is two movies with the word “dog” in it, then so be it.  At least you got us talking to you and now, if you are a partial movie buff, you have something in common.  That can lead to other things like going out to see a movie, finding a private showing of a movie, having a movie night with friends, movie night at one of y’all’s place…something will happen.  Get us to talk the small talk, that opens up doors.

One thing that I would say to not do is to make note on how you dress.  I know it seems petty but dress nice.  There are times where I have been out and about and thought “Damn, that girl looks good but she dresses funny, slutty even” or “What the fuck is she wearing? Looks like…(insert witty stupid comment here.” First appearances are crucial to a guy.  You know what looks good on you and you have heard the same things from friends, so wear it. If you are in fact confident and very comfortable with who and what you are, then the clothes will accentuate those feelings and help you to BE more confident to walk up to a guy, talk to them, get to know them kind of thing.  However, this can be a two-edged sword.  If you know you look good and wear clothes that would appear “slutty” or “offthewallihavenoclothesandjustliketoshakemyass” kind of thing, then you are definitely going to attract guys, maybe some girls, but they won’t want you for your knowledge, your prowess, your upbeat attitude or how you rock at everything else in general…they will want you for the potential for sex and while having a one-night stand could be a good thing, it won’t get you a meaningful relationship. Basically, dress nice to make a first impression.

Oh, one other thing, once you have our attention, it needs to be kept. Most guys have ADHOLAK or ADHOLAS, a term I have borrowed from a friend and revised. ADHOLAS seems to be what most guys have…Attention Deficit Hyper, Oh Look! A Shiny! (the former ending with “A Kitty”.) Don’t beat around the bush and start to lay down hints too terribly much.  If you start hinting at things like batting your eyes and motioning them to the dance floor and not saying a word to equal “Hey, I want you to dance with me,” then that will lose our attention. Be upfront. Let us know what you want.  Only after you get into that relationship can you start with the silent speaking and only using whimpers, eyes, eyelashes and “hmpfs” to get us to do things.  Be upfront with us as we are a direct kind of people.

On the point of wanting to be pursued…don’t lay all your cards out ALL at once.  Lay them out slowly.  As I stated before, be yourself, always.  Let the guy know what you are about but do it slowly and by the time you get him in your grasp, he will know all about you and hopefully, if you played your cards right, you will know all about him, thus ending any kind of unwanted surprises.

At this point, I am trying to see if there are other things I can mention that can help you reel a guy in, or, if your door swings both way, a girl.  Either way  will have man-like qualities that could appeal to both sexes. I guess in the end, if you look at the text in bold, then that should step you in the right direction.  If you cannot see the bold, then read below:

•  And before I go any further…be yourself, just out right be your own fucking self.
•  Get us to talk the small talk, that opens up doors.
•  Basically, dress nice to make a first impression.
•  Be upfront with us as we are a direct kind of people.
•  Don’t lay all your cards out ALL at once.

Thank you TAKEAWILDGUESS! I hope that this helps you in your endeavors.